I can't believe all the drama that's been going down lately, with like everyone. Especially for it being SUMMER! There isn't supposed to be any drama during the summertime, doesn't anyone know that!? I don't even feel like explaining the whole story, but it's kinda between me, Mikaela, Casey, Travis and Aaron. And the whole thing is just STUPID and POINTLESS and I'm READY FOR IT TO END! G's!
But besides that, (and the fact that I'm almost in tears because my foot hurts so bad) I'm a pretty happy camper. I'm texting Cameron right now, and I feel like I am slowly being set free of this huge crush I have been having on him since last November. I'm really happy about that though, because right now we are talking like normal and like FRIENDS and for once I don't feel like I have to impress him anymore. Which is great! Now that my secret is pretty much all out in the open, everything is going so much better, and if he ends up liking me THAT'LL BE GREAT! but if not, I don't think I'll really care too much.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I can't believe all the drama that's been going down lately, with like everyone. Especially for it being SUMMER! There isn't supposed to be any drama during the summertime, doesn't anyone know that!? I don't even feel like explaining the whole story, but it's kinda between me, Mikaela, Casey, Travis and Aaron. And the whole thing is just STUPID and POINTLESS and I'm READY FOR IT TO END! G's!
Posted by Smara at 10:34 AM
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
All in all, tonight was really fun and actually almost 100% normal. I admit, I do feel a tad bit awkward around Cameron now. Like just a little bit more than before, but he really makes it easier for me, and way less awkward. He's such a great guy, no wonder why I like him. But anyways, I walked in the auditorium (We're having youth group at the middle school in our town for a little while so we can reach out to more kids in this area) and pretty much bumped right in to Casey, Rachel and Cassie. I talked to them for a while and then I went over and sat next to Amber. I finally scoped out Cameron on the stage among all the other kids, I mean it's not like it was hard .. but you know .. I kept trying not to look at him too much, I kept looking at everyone else but him, and then I decided to try and act kinda normal and look at everyone up there practicing as casually as I could. Haha then the worship team had free time before youth group actually started and Cameron came down and said Hi to me, Abbie and Jamie .. and he gave me a hug and asked how I was and we had a small conversation before he had to go back up to the stage. &Then worship and service started, and it was AMAZING, as always .. And then after youth group was over, we all hung around a bit and then went to McDonald's. This was when the fun and joking around and the ability for me to really let loose came upon us .. Cameron kept coming over to me and hugging me and putting his arm around me and staring at me and being a big ol' flirt like he usually is. It was great, I'm glad he still does this. And then he hugged me and goes "I love you" and I was like "Love you too!" and giggled. And then he playfully pinched my cheek and said "You're so cute" and I didn't really know what to say so I just said "Thank you!" but yeah, I knew everything was really back to normal when I offered him the rest of my french fries and he started making comments about me being annorexic. I know he's just kidding, at least I'm pretty sure, but yeah. Well there's Cameron for you, he won't let anything or anyone get in his way to ruin anything or make something awkward, which I absolutely love about him. Thank God for tonight! I really feel better about everything now =]
Posted by Smara at 7:59 PM
I'm going to youth group around 6:30. HE will be there. I'm getting really antsy and nervous for some reason .. I hope everything stays okay between us and what I told him last night doesn't make things even more awkward than they were before. I also hope I don't throw up, because I'm so freaked out right now. Haha I don't even know why, because our conversation last night seemed pretty reassuring that everything would be just the same as it always has been. Awh, why do I still have to like him so much? I wish I didn't like him anymore. I wish, I wish, I wish!
I'll post again later about how my night went, with HIM there .. :/
Posted by Smara at 2:31 PM
Yeah, that's right, I did it. Last night was seriously the most eventful (and kinda dramatic) night I have had in a while. Not all of it in a bad way .. like this conversation with Cameron I had, really wasn't all that bad. It all started out because I asked his sister Casey (one of my bestfriends) a question, and she didn't know the answer so she told me to ask Cameron. He gave me an answer, but he was acting kinda strange in the process. I thought to ask what was wrong .. But I didn't and told him I was going to sleep. Pretty much right after that, I started praying to God to set me free from liking this kid, and all of a sudden it was like God was saying "Sara, tell him now .." I started shaking uncontrollably (Like when you have a fever) and I felt like I was going to throw up. I was so nervous, more nervous than I have ever been in my entire life .. But I knew I had to do it. (Even though the last thing I wanted to do was tell him in a text message ..) But yeah, here's the conversation and you guys can tell me what you think ..
me- hey wait can i talk to you about something else or do you want me to wait till tomorrow
cam- you can talk
me- ok uhm this is kinda hard and weird and awkward for me to do haha but uhm for some strange reason i feel like it's the time to tell you. even though i really didn't wanna tell you in a text message. haha but uhm i used to like you.
cam- like when
me- uhm idk a few different times throughout the year haha
cam- so why is it weird to tell me i thought you liked me
me- yeah i figured and just cause it's awkward and i don't want it to make things weird and have us not be friends anymore haha
cam- your so silly thinking that you know you can tell me anything and you know i can tell when girls like me but it's no big deal
me- hahah ok good yeah well i've never told anyone i liked them before so this was a new experience for me and i didn't know what to expect in return. i wanted to do it in person but i didn't think i'd ever get the chance, and tonight after i said bye to you i was praying and i felt like i should just get it over with and tell you tonight hahah
cam- oh thats cool i'm glad that you did i mean i don't want you to think this is a me blowing you off cause i'm not i just want you to be comfortable with talking
me- hahah blowing me off? nah i know you didn't like me like that haha don't worry. and yeah i was always comfortable with talking to you, you're like a very trustworthy person and everything. this was just something i was terrified to do. haha i'm like shaking right now, g's
cam- why silly
me- why what? why am i shaking? cause i'm nervous! hahah
cam- yeah why are you nervous
me- i don't know haha i don't want things to be weird now i guess maybe that's why
cam- well things won't be weird let me ask you why did you like me
me- that's good! and cause well first of all the biggest thing is how on fire for God you are. you're absolutely hilarious, you don't care what people think of you at all, you're creative and unpredictable haha, and you're a good friend. there's more but yeah haha
cam- wow thank you lots your are the same basically your little cutie
me- haha thanks you too :) haha why'd you ask though?
cam- just wondering
me- i see. haha yeah there's more but yeah haha
cam- thank you wow you thought about this didn't you
me- hahaha yeah well what part
cam- all of it
me- oh idk hey just to make things clear, that whole my cousin thinks you're my boyfriend and we're getting married thing .. had nothing to do with the fact that i liked you. she just said it cause she saw a picture of you hahah i swear
cam- yeah i know
me- hahah ok just getting that across haha
(a while later)
cam- yeah you should go to bed cause it's late
me- ha i can't really sleep or i gladly would but i'll let you go now if you want
And then I'm pretty sure he fell asleep, but IDK. Casey and Kelsey are still CONVINCED we're getting married. Which this bugs me, because now I know for a fact that he doesn't like me like that. Although for some strange reason I still have a bit of hope ..!? Why is this!? I don't want to like him anymore, it just causes me pain and stress because I know he doesn't like as anymore than a friend ..
Posted by Smara at 6:03 AM
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
counseling like a kagillion kids right now. They all come to me for advice at the same time, g's! I was just on the phone with Aaron for a little over a half an hour, but then he had to go because he's at Jesse's house. I was also counseling some of my other friends, but yeah .. I love how they all come to me, and trust me and everything ..
But anyways, today I ended up going to Morgan, Gabbie & Sam's house for a small pool party thing with Joey, Kelsey and Ashley. We had a blast! I'm prolly going to the movies with mom tomorrow .. and maybe to the doctor's, and then YOUTH GROUP AT 7! Yeay!!!! <3
Posted by Smara at 4:18 PM
Last night I went to the yards for a baseball game with some friends that I haven't seen like all Summer and Mikaela. I was glad to see Morgan, Sam, Haligh, and everyone .. but Haley and Jess were being kinda snobbish. Oh well, I don't really even know Jess. But Haley is supposed to be one of my good friends and we barely even talked last night cause she kept randomly flipping out on Mikaela and Morgan. Then when the game was over, me and Mikaela ended up being the last ones there, so we were just laying on the bleachers laughing at everything and stargazing with no stars (there were too many lights on) and waiting for my mom to come pick us up. Then all of a sudden, they shut ALL the lights off and Mikaela and I were left in the dark. Thank God we had our phones, because it was wicked creepy! Haha about ten minutes later, my mom got there and we went home.
My ankle is better today, YEAY! And later on I'm probably going to the movies with my mom because she really wants to see Mama Mia. If anyone has seen that yet, I'd really like some reviews .. Thanks!
Posted by Smara at 6:12 AM
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
from SIX FLAGS! I was there from Wednesday till Saturday. I had a blast!!! I met some pretty rad new people, and got to spend four straight days with my bestfriend. Warped Tour was awesome!! I met Family Force 5, Between the Trees, and FTSK (for the 2nd time). I almost threw up before I met FF5, because they're my absolute FAVORITE BAND!! They're seriously the best performers ever, and so much fun to watch. Their show was the best I have ever been to. I also saw The Devil Wears Prada, The Academy Is..., Mayday Parade, Relient K, Cobra Starship, and TONS more. I finally got to meet Ashley and Emma, who I met on Myspace a while ago. Ashley is now a good friend of mine. I love her to deathh! This morning I went to church, but I hurt my foot really bad the other day so I couldn't dance too well. Ha okay so here are some pictures from Warped Tour '08 ..
Us with Between The Trees!
Soul Glow! (My favorite guy from Family Force 5!)
Me with Kyle! (My favorite guy from Forever The Sickest Kids!)
Posted by Smara at 9:24 AM
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
So my bestfriend Casey told my other bestfriend (her brother Ryne) that I like their older brother, Cameron. My secret is finally starting to get out. I should have saved my AIM conversation with Ryne and pasted it on here. Do you think this has been a sign from God that I should tell Cameron I like him? Ugh. I don't know. I think I should finally let loose and do it .. But I won't do it through a meeseley text message or Myspace comment or something corny like that. MY BESTFRIEND Mikaela says I should text him and tell him we need to talk sometime, just the two of us. I think that's a good idea ... suggestions/opinions? Thanks ..
Posted by Smara at 6:14 PM
I fell asleep around 11 or so last night, and woke up around 11 this morning. I finally got a good night's sleep of 12 hours instead of the 5 hours I have been able to sleep lately. Now I feel very refreshed, but still a tad bit tired. Today is my day to stay home and relax, probably watch some movies with my parents and go outside and read. Maybe I can get my mom to take me to the library later on to exchange my book since I finished it last night. It was the first book in the series of Diary of A Teenage Girl by Melody Carlson. It was really good, and I definitely recommend you read it if you haven't already. I also have to spend my day packing, although at the moment I seem to be procrastinating for some unknown reason. I'm not sure why, because I'm starting to get really excited for the next 3 days! I'm going to Six Flags about 3 hours away from here with my bestfriend Mikaela, and Thursday is Warped Tour! I can't wait! Ah I don't really know what to pack though, like what clothes and stuff. It is supposed to be in the high 70's these next three days, which should be pretty nice. Other than the fact that it's supposed to thunder storm! Ahhh :[ I'll be praying for nice weather ...
Posted by Smara at 9:13 AM
Monday, July 21, 2008
I decided to post a few pictures from Generation Conference of me and some of my bestfriends .. The rest of them are on my Myspace, you guys should all add me! www.myspace.com/sara_r0x
Jesse & I .. He's my new bestfriend. We played dress up in H&M and had an insane photo shoot. As soon as I met him, we clicked. He's the type of person I act be myself around and feel totally comfortable with. I love him so much! I wish he lived closer ..
Me & Abbie outside of Gen Con getting ready to go to lunch!
Kelsey, Ryne, me & Mikaela in the aud during our 20 minute break during Gen Con!
Ryne & Cameron sitting in the middle of the road! Hahah :D
Casey, David & I in the hotel!
Posted by Smara at 4:38 PM
Sunday, July 20, 2008
reading your comments on my last post. haha i've actually been getting chills A LOT lately. God's really been speaking to me and moving in my life more than ever. this morning was seriously the best church service i have ever sat through. it was the perfect thing to conclude everything i got out of generation conference. pastor dan mentioned absolutely everything i have been praying for lately, at least once. God really spoke to me this morning. he answered a lot of the things i've been praying for, including about cameron. uhm well kind of at least. hang on, let me start from the beginning, when i was back at generation conference .. ryne kept coming up to me and giving me prophecies. i got like 3 from him during those three days. the first one was just an add on to the prophecy he gave me a few months ago, about how he really feels that i am going to be one of the biggest hopes for our school. and well, he came up to me sometime on thursday and said that changing our school is my burden. and he said it's going to start really soon. i don't remember it all, i didn't even know what to say at the time. i was just so happy. seriously, what do you say to someone when they give you a prophecy? it kinda makes you speechless, yk? but anyways. that was the first prophecy i received during gen con. the other two i received (again, from ryne) on friday night. after everyone from my youth group and some of the marylanders prayed for me, and after i was finally done bawling my eyes out .. i could tell ryne had something to say to me. but i wasn't sure, so i didn't say anything. and then pastor jonnie went over to him and i think pastor pearl was over there too, cause ryne kept looking at me. and then ryne came over and told me that God was telling him that i have lots of power, potential, and promise .. i just need to work on my patience. and that God has a promise for my family too, but i can't give up and i have to keep praying for them. he said other stufff too, but i forgot most of it .. it was all so overwhelming. and when everyone was praying for me, casey kept saying stuff like how i shine and that i am going to be a GREAT influence on everyone around me (especially in school & for my family) just because of the way i act and how happy and smiley i always am and stuff. and then last night she told me that she felt really confident saying all the stuff she was saying to me while she prayed for me because it was coming straight from God. God was telling her what to say. i was like WOAH YEAY! :D haha and then she told me that she really, seriously, FEEELS that me and cameron are going to get married. i'm not sure if that was from God or not, (i'm starting to get really confused about what is my imagination, what is signs from God, and what people are just putting into my head .. haha) but casey says we're perfect for eachother. i've decided not to let that stick in my head though, just in case .. you know?
then i talked to my grandparents on the phone for about an hour all about gen con and God and stuff, and they decided they'd really like to come check out my church with me sometime! :D :D :D i can't waitttt
and this morning, pastor dan talked about everything i have been praying for. family, healing, cameron(in a weird way, lol) i think it was when he was talking about his marriage to pastor pearl and how her dad said he was the one for her & he knew it when he walked through the door of the church the first time (like before even knowing him) ... and i thought of how casey said something about me and cameron getting married when i first met her and i started praying about it a ltitle in the middle of church and uhh then all of a sudden i felt like idk how to explain it, but uhm some sort of sensation flow through me and my eyes got kinda teary haha .. i'm still going to keep on praying about it though.
please pray for me!? and my family! thanks! :D
Posted by Smara at 11:44 AM
Saturday, July 19, 2008
.. was amazing beyond words. it was a life changing experience that i shall never forget as long as i live. i'm still wired up from these past three days, i wish it wasn't over yet though! it went by soo fast! here's a little list of the things i did, i'm prolly not going to elaborate too much because that'd just take WAY too long. but i'll write a little about what i did.
wednesday around 3 i got dropped off at casey, cameron, ryne, dan, pastor pearl & pastor dan's house. my mom got to meet cameron in his boxers. haha then david L came over, and we all left to meet up with everyone at the church. we ended up being a tad bit late, but not too bad. then we all piled up into our cars and were off to check into our hotel. i rode with pastor pearl, casey, abbie, ryne, taylor and dakota. it was a blast! when we got to the hotel, we brought our stuff inside and the first marylander i met was sean. he's such a sweetheart, and so polite. it was his birthday on thursday! he turned 20 years old. (imagine having your birthday during a youth conference, i think that'd be so cool!) but anyways, then i met the rest of the maryland kids and their youth pastor and youth leaders. they're all so nice and most of them immediately became some of my bestest friends! then we all got settled in, and went to the wednesday night worship & service. craig groeschel preached. he's the Life Church man. haha he preached on finding your burden, and deciding what you care about and need to fix. i discovered that my burden is helping the homeless, and making a difference in changing my school. i also have a burden to help this girl i used to be friends with, who i no longer am. these things aren't going to be easy, but i know i can do them with God's help. "God does more than we can imagine." those were the words of craig groeschel =] after wednesday's evening service, we all went back to our hotel (prolly around 11 or so?) and hung out for a bit .. and then we ate pizza and sang Happy Birthday to sean at midnight! haha finally everyone went to bed, except for me & casey. we stayed up until 5 in the morning, and even then i still wasn't tired. i was all excited and happy to be there, and hyper. haha but casey wanted to go to sleep, so i forced myself to go to sleep too.
thursday morning after we all woke up and got ready, we went to the morning worship & service. emmanuel cannistraci preached. he's an elderly man, but he's adorable and gave us a good word. he preached about having confidence and how God is in control. he also talked about how we have to know who we're living our lives for, and what we're going to live our lives in. DON'T EVER ALLOW ANYONE TO TAKE AWAY YOUR SMILE apostle e. cannistraci said something along those lines, i forgot the exact words or what it really was because i didn't get to write it down since i was up at the alter call praying for some of my friends. but he said something like that, how you always have a reason to smile with Jesus Christ as your savior and that you shouldn't let anyone take that away from you. idk i wish i remembered his exact words, because i love smiling, i'm a really happy person. so it really got to me. when apostle e. was finished preaching, we had a 20 minute break & visited with everyone .. and then mark schilling preached. he preached on following the example of God and being a servant of Jesus. like washing his feet & stuff. then we all went & hung out and had a lunch break & ate at the mall. then we came back and steve furtick preached. he was prolly one of my favorites. "GOD'S PROMISE IS BIGGER THAN YOUR PERHAPS" was something he said that really caught on to me. =] then we had our dinner break and went back to the hotel and everyone just hung out. then we came back for more worship & service and benny perez preached. he's been a favorite preacher of mine since i heard him last year. he preached on shivelaf (sp?) which means the burden of life. we had more alter calls. ahhh everyone got really into that one after pastor benny preached. lots of people were crying & stuff. then we all went back and had birthday cake for sean and sandwiches and hung out in the hallway and the lobby and sang happy birthday to sean at midnight again. hahah and i stayed up till like 2:30 ish.
friday when we woke up and got ready we all went to the morning worship and service againnn. chico woo preached. he did really good this year. he preached on three very important questions. where have you been? who am i? and where are you going? then we had a 20 minute break and then a 17 or 18 year old named jordan boyce preached. i think he really connected with a lot of people cause he was closer to our age than the rest of them. he preached on grace. "ONCE YOU'VE RECIEVED GRACE, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GIVE GRACE" then we had our lunch break and went to the mall .. hung out with everyone .. and stuff like that. me, casey & jesse played dress up in h&m and took lots of pictures. hahaha! then we went to the afternoon service which was mike servello preaching. he preached on encouragement. "A LITTLE BIT OF ENCOURAGEMENT GOES A LONG WAY" and he read a scripture from the bible that i reallly liked. Job 4: 1-4 you should really read it sometime =] then we went back to the hotel, hung out and took lots of pictures and stuffff like that. and then came back and my parents & grandparent's came to last night's service. jude fouquier preached. he was one of my favorites, too. he was hilarious and he had a greattt message. all of them did, actually. but yk. "I WILL BUILD MY CHURCH AND THE GATES OF HELL WILL NOT PREVAIL AGAINST IT!" we were all screaming that at the top of our lungs. haha and he was preaching about how there's so many different groups on a campus but in a church there is no groups, we are all one under Christ and he was talking about how we are so dependent on many things and he was imitating a girl or something and said, "I can't live without my man." and then was like, "Amen, MY MAN IS JESUS CHRIST!" hahaha :D and then he preached on passionate prayer and discipleship. "IF GOD IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW & FOREVER .. SO IS THE CHURCH." then we started praying and had another alter call (we had tons of those) and i went down for it, and started BAWLING. i never cry in church, haha but everyone from my youth group was praying for me!!! and i really felt God move in me it was great. and then ryne gave me a couple prophecies .. i don't want to post them on here (even though they are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!) but it's stuff for me .. and anyways, i'm really tired. so i'm going to go. i wish i was still at gen con though.
Posted by Smara at 2:38 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
So I have officially reached the point beyond being excited and pumped and all that jazz, and have crossed over and landed in a big huge pile of feelings and emotions I can't even begin to describe. Today, at 3 o'clock I will be getting dropped off at Casey/Cameron/Ryne/Dan's house to help Casey finish packing. Then at 4 o'clock sharp, we will be arriving at our church and preparing for departure to be on our way to Generation Conference '08. Like I already said, I can't even begin to explain how MORE THAN excited I am for these next three days. These next three days are going to be jam packed and filled with a bunch of life changing experiences for thousands of kids and even some adults. Many of the kids I've talked to that are going to be attending, are getting the same feelings I am. We all feel like something BIGGER THAN EVER is going to happen at Gen Con this year. I have been praying about it and fasting about it (which I must admit has NOT been easy for me) and I have been recieving this feeling for a couple weeks. But this morning concluded the feeling for me, and I have never been happier. This morning while I was getting ready and doing some last minute packing, I was listening to Air 1. Air 1 is this amazing Christian radio station. It's the only radio station I listen to, really. But today while I was listening to it and thinking about how beyond amazing Generation Conference is going to be, all of a sudden I was filled with complete happiness and my stomach tied up in knots, but in a good way. I felt something at the pit of my stomach that I have never felt before. In the next few moments, that intense feeling grew into something even more. I started shaking (slightly) and my eyes got all watery. I felt unending chills that would NOT go away all over my body, and I started smiling REALLY big and giggling uncontrollably over nothing. Some might say "She is drunk .." or "There is something wrong with this girl .." But no, neither of those things are true. The fact is, I was filled with the Holy Spirit this morning. I felt God's presence right there in my bedroom. And this is because of how hardcore I have been praying for the past few weeks, and how many GREAT and WONDERFUL things are going to be occurring from this evening until Friday night around 10 or so. All I can say now, is that I can't wait. And I will be updating again probably sometime around Saturday or Sunday.
Posted by Smara at 7:12 AM
Monday, July 14, 2008
Today was quite a relaxing day. I didn't do much during the day, but tonight I had tennis clinic. I finally got to go back to that tonight, Nora was pretty upset that I hadn't been there lately. I'm glad I got to go though. It was fun with Ashley and Nora. And I met this girl named Nicole. She's really nice, but she'll be on varsity this year because she's a senior. I'm still on JV because I'm only going to be a sophomore, but I guess that's okay because there's like no one on the JV team, we're prolly not even going to need to have tryouts .. which is extremely GREAT for many reasons. One reason is, the week of tryouts starts like the day RIGHT after I get back from Youth Fest in Maryland, and I'm prolly going to be exhausted. I'm also going to be missing a lot of time in August because we're going to be out of town A LOT and like really busy. Another thing is, I'd prolly freak out and suck a whole bunch and not make the team. Even though I've been doing pretty darn swell during this clinic, if I do say so myself =]
Once I got home, my aunt called us and said Adam (her son, my cousin) found a baby kitten in front of his house by the road in a box today ... So me and my mom went over to see it. It's sooo cute! It's black with white tips on it's toes! I'm pretty sure it's a girl, so I'm going to call her a she. Yeah. She is such a sweetheart, honestly the most lovable cat I have ever seen. She's always purring and rolling on to her back so you can rub her tummy. And she's litter box trained. Adam can't keep it though, because he has two (kinda big) dogs that would probably eat it, and my parents won't let me keep it for various reasons. I'm hoping we can find it a good home soon so we don't have to end up bringing it to the humane society ...
OMGSH there was a circus in our town today, I wanted to go but it was during tennis for most of it. Grr. Haha I don't think I've ever been to a circus, at least not that I recall. I wish I could've gone with Casey and all them! :p
Posted by Smara at 7:05 PM
Have you ever gone to a Sunday morning church service and didn't really expect to get much out of it other than a good message, but then what the pastor was saying really ended up hitting you like a lightning bolt? That happened to me yesterday morning, I was just sitting there in my seat next to one of my bestfriends, Casey, and for some reason, I wasn't really as into the service as I usually am. I mean I was listening and paying attention and everything, just not as good as I usually do. Not that I was bored or anything, because there is honestly no possible way to be bored at my church. The pastors are so lively and everything, ahh I love it .. But anyways, all of a sudden, Pastor Dan started saying something about never giving up on praying until you get a direct answer that you can't deny is from God. Right when he said that, I was tuned in 100%. I mean of course I knew that, but lately with the situation I'm in with that kid I like, I've been getting rather impatient. But Pastor Dan was saying no matter how long you wait, wheather it's 4 months or a year or whatever .. Don't ever give up. And even though I knew that, it was something nice to hear.
Then everyone from church went out to eat at Apple Bee's. I sat at a table with Abbie, Casey, Cameron, Alec, Travis and Bryson. (I finally gave Bryson his Super Mario Bros picture, btw .. He absolutely loved it and gave me a big hug Haha!) But anyways, we had fun. At one point, I was drinking some of my water and Casey made me laugh, and I started choking and my eyes were watering. Omgsh it was so scary!! Haha so I have come to the conclusion that I can't drink anything when I'm with Casey. It's too risky. =]
Then after Apple Bee's, we went back to Casey's house. The car ride there was wicked fun!!! And probably way longer than it was supposed to be, because we had to drop off Amber at home, and then Dan wanted to stop at Weeden's. While Dan was in Weeden's; me, Casey and Ryne stayed in the car and talked. For like an hour. It was great, we had fun. =] Then at Casey's house, most of the time we were there we were home alone cause the boys were at a friend's house, so we were talking about like everything, including the fact that I like her older brother Cameron. (Me and Cam were practicing for our item thing yesterday hahhahaha it was soo funny this is going to be a blast! Although I'm not quite sure of the point in it anymore, because there's other girls going that Cameron is friends with that David would definitely be all over. But whatever, I'll enjoy our joke =]) Anyways, Casey said that she has no idea who he likes right now, but there is a definite possibility that it MIGHT be me. I told her that I honestly don't think he likes anyone. But she said she seriously can't see him liking anyone but me right now. And I was like oh, okay, really? Trying to contain my excitement. Haha I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but then she said something like "I know he showed definite interest in you before .." Dang, I think I should tell him I like him. But I'm not going to do anything until I get a direct answer from God, which I think that's the right thing to do. Wait it out until God speaks to me. And I have a feeling that it's going to be sooner than I expect. Like one of these days out of no where I'm going to be like woah, that's God. I think it might happen sometime during Generation Conference to tell you the truth. Anything can happen there, the Holy Spirit is so powerful in that place with all those thousands of kids loving and worshiping God. It's awesome and in 2 days!! It's the day after tomorrow!!! Yeay! :D
Posted by Smara at 6:06 AM
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Just outside of town, there's a beautiful resavoir, and today since it was almost 90 degrees, me, my bestfriend Mikaela, and some family (and some family friends) all went up there to hang out. It ended up being myself; Mikaela; mom & dad; my cousins Rebecca, Jo & Adam; Aunt Connie; Aunt Cheri; Uncle John; Grammy; and Jo's friend Tara and her two kids Ethan(4) and Evan(8). We all had a blast!!! Swimming, tanning, eating, kayaking and canoeing .. Ethan and Evan are so cute! Especially Ethan, he's my new bestfriend. He thinks I'm his girlfriend! Haha I gave him one of my poptarts and after running over to his mom to show her and falling on his tush, he pranced back over to me, gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek. It was like the cutest thing. He's just adorable, and so easily entertained. He giggles at everything and loves being tickled. At one point he was like "Let's laugh!" and burst out laughing at absolutely nothing. So of course, me and Mikaela and Adam had to laugh too. It was just so cute! And he kept telling me Knock Knock jokes, and we were all pretending to be pirates and stuff like that. It was so fun! Haha He's so polite and such a sweetheart for his age, he didn't once throw a tantrum or even get the least bit upset until it was time for them to leave. And me and Mikaela taught him how to swim! I can't wait till we babysit him and his brother Evan, who is also a cutie. Haha I love little kids, they're great! And today (believe it or not) was also my and Mikaela's first time ever in a canoe and a kayak! And we're both very outdoorsy lake kind of people. Haha
Hey here is a picture of Ethan wearing my sunglasses (upsidedown I might add) ..
And this is Evan ..
OH and by the way I increased my tan today, it's even better than it was before!! :D
Posted by Smara at 6:08 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
I figured I should expand (again) on this boy that I like. Like, maybe expand more about him, and why I like him. Again, just to get it out of my head and into words. And I also have a prayer experience and dream to share.
Alright, well the list of reasons why I like him so much is honestly never ending. I'm definitely going to end up leaving stuff out, otherwise I could be here for days, maybe even years! Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But like I said, he seriously has every single quality I have EVER looked for in a guy + more. I probably have him on such a pedastal, but I honestly consider him the closest humanly thing to perfect. Could I be in love? Oh dang! IDK.
Anyways .. first of all and most importantly, he is so ON FIRE for God and IN LOVE with Jesus Christ. He is a pastors kid, and not even the least bit of a hipocrite. He plans on spending his life going on countless mission trips to spread the good news of the Lord. He is very determined and has a LOT going for him in his life. He is kind, gentle, funny, polite, a gentleman, caring, loving, friendly, outgoing, considerate, compassionate, trustworthy, HONEST, and always there for me. He has never ever had a girlfriend, and plans on waiting for God to show him that RIGHT GIRL. He plays the guitar, sings, and is an awesome dancer. He has great style and the most amazing eyes and lips I have ever seen. He has a great family, they're all very loving and welcoming and they're always telling me how much I mean to them, and how they think of me as another part of the family. He doesn't care what other people think of him at all. We have so much in common, like almost everything really. He is great with animals and little kids, I know that sounds pathetic and really corny and like fairytale ish but seriously, he's amazing with them. The way he acts around his parents, especially his mom makes me melt. He's always going up to his mom and hugging her and asking her to dance with him over any other girl. (Like that time we went to Alec's grandparents camp and there was a band playing and there were all these girls around, he asked his mom to dance!) It's so cute! He comes up behind me and hugs me and tickles me, he smiles and laughs all the time especially when I do, I can always catch him staring at me. He's an inspiration, and someone I've always looked up to. He makes me smile. He smiles and giggles when I do. He's a GREAT friend, I can go to him with anything. He's fun to talk to and text and stargaze and watch movies and dance with. He writes poetry. He remembers every single thing I say, no matter how non important it is, and he'll randomly bring it up at some other time, wheather it is days, weeks, or even MONTHS later. He's different than anyone else I've ever met, or even seen in the movies. He's my idea of Prince Charming. In my opinion, he's better than any of those guys you get jealous of in the movies, because you want someone like that. Ahhh I know for sure that I'm leaving stuff out, but I think I should stop now.
Now, don't get me wrong, he most definitely has his flaws. Lots actually. But who doesn't? Nobody's perfect. But even his flaws, I adore. Ahhh Lord help me! Please!?
Like I've said before, I've been praying about him and my whole situation since November. I have never once saw anything that made me think, oh g's, I don't want to get involved with this kid. I never once got a feeling that I shouldn't like him, other than the fact that I'm thinking that it's kind of pointless. But I don't know, maybe it is? And maybe it isn't?
Last night I was really praying hard about the whole thing, and like I felt different than I ever had before while praying about him. I felt touched while I was praying, like more real and refreshed or something .. I don't even know how to explain it. And then a few minutes after I was done praying, I fell asleep. And I had a dream that everywhere I looked, I saw his name. First and last. On signs, literally ALL OVER THE PLACE! That's like all I could see. And then I woke up, and prayed about it some more. And went back to sleep, and had dreams that included him the entire night. I don't know, it was just weird and ironic, because I've been praying for a sign from God since November!!! Do you think that could be it? When I told my bestfriend Mikaela about it, she said she definitely thinks that he's in my life for a reason and that he's not going anywhere. She also told me that last night she prayed that God would give me a sign that I couldn't deny and maybe that was it!? Not sure what it meant though, ahhh I need help. Should I just tell the kid I like him and get it over with? Or what!? I don't know. I feel like I'm in my own little Lifetime movie, x's 10.
Posted by Smara at 6:56 PM
Hahaha wow I'm in such a great mood! I went to Casey's house tonight for a little while. I brought my orange pants so Cameron could finally try them on. Ryne tried them on, too. I have pictures that I took on my cell phone, here look ..
Me, Casey, Cameron and Ryne spent a bunch of time just sitting in the living room and goofing around and laughing. It was fun. Me and Cameron decided that at Generation Conference we're going to pretend to be an "item" to fool all the Maryland boys that I'm going to meet. It's going to be great! I'm going to be his sugarlips, and he's going to be my hm .. gummybear? Haha that's what it is at the moment, but I told him that I'm going to come up with something better. We're going to make this look really real. It'll be fun. I can't wait! (5 days!!!)
Then me, Cameron and Casey watched a couple Lifetime movies together, with Cameron sitting in between the both of us. We kept joking around and picking on the movies, cause the movies were so fake and stereotypical, nothing like Lifetime movies usually are. And then Cameron and Ryne went to the movies with Travis, and me and Casey stayed home, watched CSI, and talked about like everything, while Cameron texted me Haha. When I had to leave, I couldn't find my shoes, haha Casey said Cameron must've hid them and we found them underneath the stairs. That silly jerk. Haha But anyways, I've gotta go soon, because I think Casey and Jesse are going to 3 way me so we can all talk on the phone, and I have to go to bed soon anyways because we're getting up early tomorrow to go to the lake with some of my dad's side of the family and my bestfriend Mikaela is coming with us. =]
I'll post another blog in a little while ... Bye!
Posted by Smara at 6:42 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
So, there's this guy, and we used to talk all the time, with never ending lists of things to talk about. But lately, that's changed, and I never know what to talk about with him anymore. I prolly sound quite pathetic for posting such a silly blog, but I'd really appreciate if you guys could comment me with ideas on what I could talk about with him!? Ahhh, I really don't want to lose our friendship I would actually prefer if it grew into something more .. I like this kid a lot, he's great, and really fun to talk to when we actually have something to talk about. Which, we could usually still sit there in person and talk for hours, but IDK, maybe cause I like him so much I get all clammed up and forget everything on my mind. Agh, help? K thanks a bunch =]
Posted by Smara at 6:59 PM
Yup, last night was fun. I love my church, and my youth group. I can't even explain how much I love it there. But last night Makenzie came to youth group! Yeah, she moved in like 7th grade to Kansas, and I haven't seen her since sometime last Summer! So it was nice to see her last night. I also got to meet Abbie's bestfriend Amorandah, she's a sweetheart. She moved to Florida, and Abbie only gets to see her like once or twice a year, but I'm really glad I got to meet her!
Katie made me a pretty rad CD, it's got Jaymay and some other independent artists on it. If you don't know who Jaymay is, and you like that mellow-like acoustic kind of music, you should really check her out! www.myspace.com/jaymay
Then all of us from youth group went to Burger King, ah g's, I love going out to eat with everyone after youth. I never end up getting home until like 11 though. Haha but it was really fun. I sat at a table with Abbie, Amorandah, and Casey .. but we were near everyone else, taking up like 10 tables (no lie) and we're all so loud we got to talk to like everyone in the place. Haha!
Then I rode home with Casey, Cameron, Ryne, their parents, and Amber. I sat in the backseat in between Casey and Cameron. Wow, that was fun!!! Those two spent like ten minutes arguing over who got to sit next to me, (Casey is 16 and Cam is 18) and finally Pastor Pearl just says, "SARA, YOU SIT IN THE MIDDLE!" Hahahah it was hilarious.
But anyways, my family finally left today. I didn't get to say goodbye to them though, because they left before I woke up. (I slept till like 11 or so this morning, because I didn't get to sleep until around 1am) But yeah, I'm not doing much of ANYTHING today. I watched The Secret Life of the American Teenager, though. That's such a great show! Travis thinks I act just like the hardcore Christian girl, Grace. Haha! You guys should really watch that show sometime ...
Posted by Smara at 11:52 AM
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
wake me up way too early in the morning. Baaahhh. I planned on sleeping till noon today. But I guess I can't complain TOO much, considering I ditched my family to go to sleep last night around 8:30 ish. Ha! But I'm STILL tired. Seeing as I STILL have not had the right amount of sleep for over a week. Oh my goshnesss. Haha! Wooo I'm going to be pretttty flippen loopy tonight at youth .. My friends are in for it tonightt .. Haha but yeah, yesterday we went to that water park, it was pretty fun although I wasn't in the water much. I spent most of my day hanging out with my mom and aunt and uncle, although I did spend a tiny bit of time in the wave pool with my cousins. It was so hot out yesterday! But I did end up with a nice tan. And then we went out for icecream afterwards, and my mom poured her ice cold water bottle out on me! Hahaha she's so immature sometimes, I love her! :D
Todayyy is the last full day of my uncle/aunt/cousins being here. No offense to them or anything, but I'm pretty happy about that. I need some sleep, and my normal life back. Haha they're leaving sometime tomorrow, I'm guessing in the afternoon. Later today I get to escape, prolly around 4 or so .. I'm going to Casey's and then I have youth group tonight. YAY! TTYL.
Is it raining? I'm going to hang out with my fam on the front porch.
Posted by Smara at 6:05 AM
Monday, July 7, 2008
Wow, today has been quite an eventful day. It all started with Tyler getting stung on the head by a wasp, Nick being the nicest kid everrrr, and hours of life jackets, life boats, and luggage in the pool with Leah. Then we had a delicious dinner, that I just had some leftovers of. Tee hee! But especially this evening, when me and my cousin who used to be the biggest little annoying brat ever in the history of the world had a dance party and makeover in my room. Haha! She changed so much since hmm, spring break? Yeah, she's great now. We hang out and talk like we're best friends and she seriously talks like she's 20 years old. Haha, perhaps not that old, but you get what I'm saying. But due to my 6 year old cousin and I preparing for our wedding (HAHA!) my room smells of every kind of perfume I own. And my eyes burn, because she sprayed perfume in them. Thanks Leah, thank a lot. Haha but we had fun, dancing around my room to the Jonas Brothers .. Yeah she's cute, ask anyone ..
So yeah into bed I go, to watch a new episode of Legally Blonde: The Search For Elle Woods (YAY!) and then fast asleep I shall be. Haha I'm exhausted, my cousins tire me out. And beyond that, I haven't had much sleep in like the past week since I've been so flippen busy. &I have to get up earrrrllly tomorrow morning because me, my parents, my aunt&uncle, and my three (rad) little cousins are going to Water Safari. Horrrayyy!
Text me, please!? (If you have my number .. if not, please don't ask)
I love you.
Posted by Smara at 6:51 PM
the party last night was SOOOO MUCH FUN! i was at their house from 3 till 11pm. i was going to stay till like 6 in the morning to keep Casey company so she didn't get stuck alone with a billion guys, but i couldn't because my uncle, aunt and three little cousins are coming over today and my parents wanted me to get some sleep. i haven't had hardly any sleep lately, like for the past week or so, and i probably won't at all this week or next week either. or the week after for that matter! ahhh haha. but yeah, last night .. that party was wicked fun! like everyone was there, and we just chilled, danced, sang, played games, played volleyball and ultimate frisbee, and threw stuff at eachother. haha i love my friends :] but seriously, i can't even explain how fun that party was last night. it's pretty much indescribable. and it just goes to show you don't need alcohol or any of that to have a good time .. pictures later!
Posted by Smara at 7:13 AM
Sunday, July 6, 2008
have been so busy! But reaallly fun! I hope everyone had a great 4th of July, mine was superduper fun! I was with Mikaela and a bunch of her family all day at her aunt's camp, and then we watched fireworks on the lake for a few hours. Then I spent the night at her house, hung out with her all day yesterday, and then we went to the field days and met up with Chris (cool kid) and some of his friends (Yay for fried dough, powdered sugar, and soda food fights in the middle of the park in the grass!!) Didn't get home till around 11pm or so .. This morning I had church (which was amazing as usual) but it was the first Sunday of church that Penny wasn't there .. I miss that girl. But anyways, now I'm getting ready for Cameron's grad party and dancing around my room. So I've gotta go. LOVES! =]
Posted by Smara at 11:22 AM
Thursday, July 3, 2008
I decided to post a blog and dedicate it to the one and only, Phannarai S. My (and a bunch of other people's) favorite Asian chick. She's awesome beyond words .. and she's got a TON of courage for making all the changes she did while she was here in the U.S. for several months. She had become one of my best friends, and I miss her A TON! But I can't cry anymore, because I know she'll be back again in 9 months for college. And right now, I know she is in Thailand doing the works of God .. and spreading his word. She will impact and change so many lives, and I'm EXTREMELY excited for her!! She's home now, after her 18 hour plane ride by the way, and I was just talking to her on AIM. (Even though it's a 12 hour difference in time zones between here and there .. Ha!) Awh she just commented me on Myspace and said,
"sara, to be honest...u r one of my bestest friend ever!! and i miss u so much already. i miss the good old times...like lunch or youth. i hope those times wont be just memories. im pretty sure that when i come back, we will hang like...lots and lots!! i love u and please dont stop praying for me! i will see u in 9 months! whoot! and i will bring u some thai clothes! haha.
Those good memories (great ones, actually) will definitely not fade, and won't just be fun things to remember from time to time, but they are going to be moments that we are going to be reliving over and over again as soon as she come back! (In 9 months and counting!!)
Here are a few of the pictures of some of the fun times we've had while she was here ..
At the Youth Center at Mikaela's church, this picture is of Penny, Casey, Mikaela and me
Penny, at Burger King, after youth one night .. :D
Penny, Casey .. and Scott looks creepy! Haha This was at probably one of the FUNNEST youth group nights everrrr .. We had strobe lights and a mosh pit! BAHAHA! And this is when I taught Penny how to do the Revolution dance .. Hey, you can kinda sorta see me in the background .. I am wearing a white shirt, jeans, and orange sneakers! :D
Penny and Alicia HAHA! This was also at youth group that night .. Also in the picture are Casey, Taylor, Travis (in the hoody, being held captive by Casey! hahaha) Sami, kinda Morg, and my hair! :D
Mikaela, Penny and me at the Youth Center ..
Penny and Cameron, haha they look so funny! They took this and sent it to me to make me smile on one of the days I was absent this year. Awh I love them so much! :D
Posted by Smara at 4:19 PM
had to have been the highlight of my Summer so far .. last night! HAHA! I seriously love that kid, so much .. but me and Casey had to have caused everyone in the household (Ryne, Taylor, Cameron, Bryson, Dan) and then everyone at the party (like EVERYONE from church minus Sarah) think we are idiots. But oh daannnng I must admit, yesterday evening from around 4 till 11 had to have been just one of the best memories of Summer '08 that I am going to make. I went to Casey, Cam and Ry's house around 4 .. all of us (as I already named them previously in this post) had a fabulous time goofing around and watching Juno and So You Think You Can Dance before the party at our youth pastor's house. Then around 7 or so .. me, Casey, and Cameron rode with Bryson to the party. WOW That was definitely an adventure that I will NEVER forget. HAHA! It consisted of Bryson's craaazzzyyy driving, the radio blasting so high that the bass bounced the entire vehicle, complete strangers staring us down as we drove by, and all four of us dancing and singing at the top of our lungs the whole way there =D Then there was the party, which was also fun, but it was way too fun to explain any bit of it. Seriously. You just had to have been there :p Oh and by the way, the ride home with Dan, Casey, Ryne, Kady, Amber and Kayla wasn't too bad either .. Haha we have fun :D!
My insanely raddd cousin Adam came over, we hung out and then went to the movies with mom. We saw Get Smart .. and I must admit, it was quite funny. It was kinda dumb, but I definitely let out a few giggles .. Now I'm kinda sitting here doing not much of anything, even though I was SUPPOSED to go to the movies with Abbie, Travis, Dan, Casey and the rest of their family to see Wall-e .. But I can't, which sucks :[
Hey .. so the other day when me and Kelsey were on our food rage and pigging out in my kitchen, we were talking about all the good times we had during our freshman year in highschool .. And it occurred to me how much I'm actually going to miss this past year. :/ So I thought I'd put up a list of (ONLY A FEW) the things I'm going to miss ..
1) Gym first period with Mikaela, Matt, and Jimmy
2) Picking on my art teacher with Morgan, Haligh, and Marie
3) Getting yelled at for absolutely nothing in art class with Morgan, and goofing around all the time in that class ..
4) Being the peace maker in spanish class
5) Getting side tracked and not actually learning anything at all in spanish class
6) 'Skipping' study hall to go hang out in the choir room with Casey, Rachel, Cameron, Bryson, Katie, Ben, Justin .. etc.
7) REHEARSAL FOR RADIO HEROES AND THE PLAY!!!!!!
8) Stargazing during rehearsal and after rehearsal
9) Bruce and Mari's wrestling matches during rehearsal
10) THE COOL TABLE! and all the endless, COUNTLESS, crazy funnnnn times with everyone that sat there.
11) The dance off during lunch between Cameron and Bruce!
12) Tennis season with Smashley, Skatie, Christina .. and everyone else
13) Walking to math with Kelsey (seriously the highlight of each day)
14) All my obnoxious questions in math class HAHA!
15) THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR .. (I'm not even going to get into my reasoning ..)
16) Dancing in the hallway with Cameron
17) Singing REALLLLY loud during lunch so everyone in the entire cafeteria turns around to stare .. :D
18) Meeting all the new, beyond fantastic people that I did .. and making such GREAT friends :]
19) 'Missing' the bus to go to Mikaela's house!
20) Our huddles and hugs in the hallway after lunch ..
21) The seniors!!!
AND SOOOOOOOOO MUCH MORE, BUT WAYYY TOO MUCH TO LIST! I will never forget those times, and this was by far my FAVORITE school year everr ..
Posted by Smara at 2:27 PM
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
I cried sooo hard the other day when it finally hit me that Penny was actually leaving, ha .. But I'm looking forward to her coming back in April! Btw my couple days with Kelsey was MADDD fun!!!! We stayed up till like 3 in the morning the other night, and I had to wake up at 7 this morning so I'm like exhaustedd right nowwww .. I just got out of the pool though, and now I'm waiting for Casey to text me so I can go over thurrrr and then the whole youth group is going to Travis's house for a pool partyyy! Woot! :D :D :D
BTW, THIS IS IN TWO WEEEKS! (I'M SSSOOOO EXCITED!!!!)
Last year was seriously the best experience of my lifeee, if you guys are going LET ME KNOWWW! and perhaps we can meet up!?! :D
Here's some pictures from last year ..
This was in the aud, we were all sweaty and gross from dancing around and worshiping!! But we were definiitttely having the time of our lives .. I'm going with a different church this year (Long story about why I switched churches, to make it short .. God directed me to Life Church instead, and I've never been happier) But I'll never forget my first time at GC ..
Posted by Smara at 10:45 AM