Good day, soon to be better

Today has been a pretty great day so far.. soon to be even better! I went to church this morning just like every sunday, but it was different this morning because when I walked in, guess who the first person i saw was!? SEAN!!! Yeah, he drove here all the way from Maryland yesterday!!! I was so SURPRISED (and excited!) to see him! I gave him about a trillion hugs. Haha service and worship were wonderful as always.. and afterwards Cameron, Pastor Jonnie and Sean had like this 10 minute thing going about how much they love me, and i kept getting sucked into their group hugs. Hahah it was fantastic, i love my church and everyone in it SO much! =]
Later on tonight i'm going to a bonfire at my aunt & uncle's house across the street with my dad's ENTIRE side of the family! For the first time in yearsss, ALL of us will be getting together! I'm super pumped for that, because we haven't had a time like this with no one missing in SO long, it's crazy! (Because all my Uncle Frank's daughters live in like different countries and stuff....)

PICTURES LATER, FOSHO!! Lovess <3

Update

A lot has been happening lately. I can feel myself growing stronger in faith and even closer with God. I have been fasting for the past few days, for change and breakthrough in my school. Changing my school this year is one of my biggest burdens, and I know that it is going to happen with the help of the rest of the Christians in my school. But I feel an especially tight bond with Ryne lately. We have become much better friends, like best friends actually, and we know God has a huge plan for us to work together and apart this year to make a noticeable difference in our highschool. We also know that we need to be dependent of one another for this to happen, and know trust. I'm excited.. I can't wait for school to start just to see what kinds of awesome things God has in store for my sophomore year and the area I live in! =]

Yesterday was Friday, and I had a doctors appt. to get my sport's physical done for tennis. That wasn't too much fun, but last night I went to the movies with my mom and my grandma to see House Bunny. I honestly didn't have much interest in seeing the movie, but I wanted something to do and it was such a rainy night so I couldn't go walk on the beach with some friends, so my mom just dragged my along with her to the movie theater. I actually ended up really enjoying the movie, and I definitely recommend you go see it if you haven't. There's this girl in it, named Carrie-May and she talks just like my art teacher did last year when I was a freshman! Hahah I laughed so hard, I had tears forming in my eyes. :D

Today I went out to eat at this Italian restaraunt about 40 minutes away from my house with my parents, my grandparents, and 2 of my uncles. A bunch more of my family was supposed to join us, but they were unable to make it. Then we went to Barnes & Noble, and I bought a smaller bible that I can carry around with me everywhere I go. My dad liked it, and said he wanted a bible for Christmas. I was surprised, but extremely happy!!! God's really starting to work on my family by allowing me to witness to them! =] Then I went to the mall, and I was supposed to go to Rachel's birthday party tonight but I didn't get home in time.. which kinda sucks but oh welll!

Lovess <3

Just kidding!

Oh g's, I got so busy there for a while that I completely put off blogger! Sorry guys... um I don't think I can even TRY to catch yous up with my life.. it's been so hectic lately! (But great, of course!)
Um.. Youth Fest was fantastic! I had a blast! I became closer with the friends I already had and made many new ones! &God definitely changed us all! I cried the day we left because I was going to miss everyone so much.. They're all such wonderful people!
Tennis started the Monday I got back from Maryland.. there were no try outs because there's only about 16 people playing on JV this year, IF that! But I'm pretty sure I would have made the team even if there were try outs, because I've been doing so great! Coach keeps telling me how beautiful my serves are, and today we were learning how to do tie breakers.. I played against Christina, who's been playing for at least 3 years.. and I beat her 8-6. (You have to win by 2, and at least be at 7) Then I played against Michelle, and we kept TIEING so it ended up being 12-14. Even though I lost, I still think I did REALLY good, and I also think we'd be amazing doubles partners in a real match! =]
I've also been to the movie theater an awful lot lately, and lots of parties! Casey's birthday party was on the 23rd, and that was like WICKED fun! Everyone just hung out around a bonfire and joked around and stuff.
Last Sunday was wicked fun too. Although there seemed to be some drama going on that stuck me right in the middle.. but anyways! The church service was great, and then everyone from church went out to eat at this little Italian place called La Roma's, and then some of us came back to the church for dance practice, because we are doing a dance at church and I have decided to be in it. It's really fun actually, because I love dancing and a bunch of my friends are in it.
Tuesday I skipped tennis practice to go school shopping at the mall with my best friend Mikaela. I didn't get much, because there's still a lot of Summer clothes in the stores, but what I did get is pretty cute.. and we had fun! Then Mikaela came over to my house and we had an INSANE photo shoot to make up for the time we had spent apart this summer. (We both ended up really busy in our churches and stuff for like 2 weeks, and then we went on vacation at different times so we ended up not being able to hang out for like a month! It was terrible because we're usually pretty inseperable haha)
Yesterday after practice I walked over to Mikaela's house, she was still at interns so I just walked in and showered haha then we went to the playground and hung out with Nick, Dakota, Ryne, and Taylor all day; and Amber joined us later on. Then all of us went to youth group, which was REALLY fun! While Pastor Jonnie was preaching, he honestly mentioned everything me and Ryne had talked about earlier that day. It was crazzzy! We just kept looking at eachother excitedly like WOAH! =] Then like everyone from youth group went out to eat afterwards and just laughed like the entire time. I hate eating or drinking anything when I'm with these people, because I'm always laughing really hard so I'm afraid I'll choke on something. Haha
Today after practice me and Mikaela went to the beach for a couple hours. Now I'm home and trying to relax, because I'm absolutely exhausted from all the business these past few days.

Hopefully I'll be able to catch up with you guys one of these days, and HOPEFULLY i'll also be able to update on here more often.. even though school starts exactly one week from today and I'll most likely be even BUSIER than I am now!!

Lovesss <3

Goodbye!

I decided to quit blogger.. at least for a while...
if you guys still wanna chat and stuff, you can add me on Myspace

www.myspace.com/sara_r0x

Sleepless nights

I couldn't sleep at all last night... I stayed up till around 1:30 in the morning texting Mikaela and kinda Cameron and David. This morning I had to wake up around 8:30 or so to get ready to go get my hair done. I got blonde highlights, even though my hair is naturally blonde to begin with.. but you know, I got the highlights to brighten it up a bit. Then I went and got a pedicure... I'll post pictures or something later. I'm thinking about going outside and having another random photoshoot with myself. My outfit is cute today and I got a new bandana at Wal*Mart. Haha the next time I'll post probably won't be until sometime on Saturday or Sunday. I'm leaving for the Youth Fest in Maryland early tomorrow morning... YEAY! I can't wait! :D

Realizations and excitement =]

We leave for Youth Fest in 2 days and we'll be in Maryland till sometime on Saturday. I can't wait to see everyone! And meet like tons of new people! Woohoo! I'll have to post some pictures when I get back. Tonight I am finally getting a chance to go to that tennis clinic thing again. I haven't been in so long... Nora's going to yell at me for sure, I know it. Haha I love that girl! Last night I talked to Travis online for literally HOURS, and I talked to Jesse on the phone for a little while too. Travis told me that I'm a huge flirt and they both told me I have a LOT in common with Cameron. I don't think I am a big flirt, I just think it's me being who I am, which is probably overly friendly sometimes.. and them interpreting that completely wrong. They both told me not to change though, because they like that about me. Haha I laughed wicked hard. Jesse thinks me and Cam would be a cute/good couple.. Psht. I wish someone else would think that! But oh well, I think I'm at the point now where I don't care if Cameron likes me or not. Because I know he doesn't like anyone, he hasn't all year. We talked about it. He doesn't want a relationship right now and neither do I, so this is actually a really good thing. And honestly, if Cameron were to like someone.. Not to sound cocky or anything, but I think it would be me. We have SO much in common it's not even funny. It's like creepy, actually. Haha and probably one of the reasons I like him so much. God has been showing me this lately, and I'm very greatful. Hm, there's not much else to write about today so here's a poem I found saved on my laptop that I wrote a really long time ago...


i wish you would come find me
i'm not sure what i'm doing
walking down this road
am i going the right way?
did i turn in the right direction?
or will i be coming to a dead end soon
my love is the movement, yours is the direction
baby give me your love and i know i'll be going the right way
hand in hand, heart to heart, i will never be alone or lost.

Friends are better than nothing

Right after I got offline yesterday, David texted me and said "I love you!!!!" haha so I guess we're all good now :D!

Last night was wicked fun! I ended up going to both parties.. which was great! I went to Haligh's first, around 5, and stayed till about 8. I didn't really know anyone there besides her and Ashley, but Ashley didn't hang out with us so it was kind of awkward for me at first. I ended up hanging out with Haligh and her boyfriend Harrison for like the first two hours of the party... it was actually not that bad, he's a nice kid, real cute and smiles A LOT. I give Haligh big props for dating him =] haha then we all went outside and I played bad minton and frisbee with Kelcy and Hannah before my dad got there to pick me up and bring me to Ken & Dee's party. That, was the highlight of my night. Oh my gosh.. that party was so flippen fun! I guess it was Dee's birthday, so they had like TONS of people over and had a Hawaiian themed party with a band and bonfire and everything! Pretty much everyone from church was there, we all got lays and danced and just hung out. I had a really great time, and it OFFICIALLY broke the ice between me and Cam. He kept either coming over to me, or telling me to come over to him.. We danced together a little bit and joked around a lot like AS FRIENDS and it was just a really fun time. I'm glad we're such good friends... which brings me to CHURCH TODAY!!

Okay, where to start? Well first off, I have officially come out of my shell of being shy.. I don't feel like I have to impress anyone anymore, I just want to be myself and I FIT IN more than ever which is great. I walked through the doors of the sanctuary and was greeted by like 6 people yelling "HI SARA!" as I walked by. Haha then once worship started, I was getting really into it because of what has been happening the past few days, that I haven't posted on here and am NOT about to... and I started shaking uncontrollably and Abbie kept asking me if I was alright. I finally gathered the courage to go up to the alter and kneel down wanting some prayer. When I went up there, seconds later I was followed by a bunch of my friends to pray for me. Cameron, being on stage and all... noticed how touched I got by today's worship and that something was bothering me and looked at me and smiled for a bit of comfort. I thought that was sweet. Then worship ended, and I went and sat back down next to Rachel for service. There were a couple empty seats next to me, so Cameron picked up all of his stuff and came and sat in the seat RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Although I thought it was sweet, I was in shock.. Because lately I have praying HARD about God setting me free of liking this kid, so I can be as close to GOD HIMSELF as I can get. So I was kind of frustrated.. and I had to deal with the struggle of keeping focus on Pastor Dan preaching rather than Cameron turning to look at me and smile and his elbow touching me every few seconds. That got kind of annoying, but I conquered it (yeay!) The message at service really got to me, I can't even explain what it was about although I'd really like to... but I DID pay very close attention and I almost started crying right there in the middle of Pastor Dan's preaching... But I didn't. Then there was an alter call and I was the first one to go up there other than Ryne. Pastor Dan and a bunch of other people prayed over me, and then Pastor Jonnie and a few more people did too. Then I went and prayed over a ton of other people that I had no clue who they were, and had never seen them in my life. But I felt like I should, so I did. (See what I mean about coming out of my shell) Then after church was over, like always, we all just hung out and talked for a while. Ryne pulled me aside and started saying how he really feels like THIS IS OUR YEAR TO SHINE. Mine and his, we're going to do BIG & GREAT THINGS to change our school and our town. I'm so excited!! Cameron came over in the middle of our AMAZING conversation to listen. Then Ryne went over to hang out with his almost-girlfriend and everyone else, and left me with Cameron, Mercedes, Sami and Taylor. Then randomly, Cameron looked at me and says "I really have to pee." And I was like, "Me too!" And he goes, "You want to go pee together!?" Hahaha I giggled at that rather strange statement, and said "Sure! Even though this is uhm kinda ..weird" He's like "So!?" And we both giggled as we started walking to the bathrooms together... and then he's like "I bet I'll be done before you." And I'm like "You wanna bet on that Cameron!?" And all of a sudden he pushes me out of the way and starts RUNNING to the bathroom through this HUMONGOUS crowd of people. I was like HAHAHAHAH and started running too, trying to catch up and beat him. Yeahh I can't believe I had a peeing contest with someone, but I did and wow it was hilarious and definitely made my day. When I was done, I came out of the door and I saw Cameron peaking out of his bathroom door and when he saw me he yells "HA!" and we both start laughing and then arguing over who won. Hahaha then I realized he still had his pants like unzipped and his shirt was kinda unbuttoned... I was like "WOW you cheater.. I didn't have to stoop that low!" And he starts laughing and turns around to fix himself up hahaha then we both walked over to the dessert table where all our friends were, and my parents texted me and said they were there to pick me up. I went to go get my hoody, and came back to recieve a kagillion hugs. My youth pastor, Pastor Jonnie, gave me a big bear hug and goes "I love you so much" And I was like "I love you too!" and he's like "Really?" And I said, "Yeah! You're one of my favorite people!" And he laughed and kissed me on the head. I thought that was sweet, he's such a great guy. He's like my third dad, next to God (the Father) and my real dad of course. =] Then I went over to all my friends to say goodbye to them, and found Cameron sitting on the floor playing with Matthew (Travis & Abbie's 3 year old little brother, Cam, Casey & Ry's cousin) And I asked Matthew if I could have a hug because I was leaving. He gave me a big hug, and then Cameron looks up at me and says "Noo" all sad and stuff and I was like "I'm sorry!" and he puts his arms out for a hug so I had to bend down and hug him too. Haha it was greattt I love all the hugs I get from the people at my church! We really are all like one big happy family, it's fantastic and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Nothing can help you grow with God better than a family, and that's what my church is. We share a warm bond that shall never be broken.

Not much is up

Last night I went to Casey's house and hung out with her, Cameron, Ryne, Taylor and Dan. We had a fun time. When I got home I had a three way phone call for a couple hours with Casey and Aaron and kinda Jesse. I think David is mad at Casey and I, he won't talk to us... :(

Right now I'm texting my best buddy Travis, listening to Deluge and waiting to go run some errands with my mom. Later tonight there's a couple parties going on... I wanna go to Ken & Dee's with the rest of the people from church, but I already told Haligh I'd go to hers.

Updates later? Yahhhh have a great day guys!

Hidden secrets and a poem I wrote

Last night Travis told me him and Cameron had a conversation about me on Wednesday night. I was like all intrigued, haha and asked what they said. He told me that they were talking about how I'm really pretty, and how my hair looks good both up and down. I was like "AWH, WHAT SWEETIES, THANK YOU SO MUCH!" I love those two so much, haha and yeah I guess Cameron told Travis how I told him I used to like him. Travis wouldn't give me any details though...

I know he is hiding something.



By the way, I just wrote this poem... I know it's a little out of order and a bit messed up, but what do you think?:

I’m done spending time with my feelings for you
I have officially slammed the door in their face
Locked it, and threw away the key
There is no going back now
Now that I have allowed peace to flow through my veins like a river
I’m done wasting my thoughts on you
I have let your face show up in my mind way too many times
I refuse to let anymore tears fall down my face because of you
You are a boulder that I must knock down from a wall
That is blocking me from my best friend, my Lord, my savior, my Father
I’m done trying to impress you
You mean more to me than anything should and I love you, but if that isn’t enough
Then I shall resort back to my one and only true love, Jesus Christ
I surrender everything up to Him
My love, my sadness, my pain… it all needs to be taken away
For me to be set free of you

Youth group is my anti-drug

I brought Morgan with me to youth group last night after we went to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, which was really good by the way. And of course, youth group was extremely fun and I had ANOTHER amazing encounter with God. I know this probably sounds really strange, but we could really feel his holy precense in that auditorium last night. All of us could.. I was also being told that this is really my time for breakthrough.. I am going to do SO much to change my school this year, I can't wait! After youth group, I hung out with Cameron, Josh and Travis outside. We were all dancing around the parkinglot to Josh's ringtones and just being stupid. Haha usually after youth group we all go out to eat, but I got a ride home with Pastor Jonnie and Travis so we didn't end up going to Subway with everyone else, because Pastor Jonnie had to work this morning. Anyways, when everyone was getting ready to leave, I opened the door to get in Pastor Jonnie's car and before I was even fully inside, my phone started vibrating. I shut the door of the car and put on my seat belt, then I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. I had a text message... guess who it was from? Cameron! It said "Love you sweetie and tell trav that too" (Travis is his cousin) Cam was standing outside across the street with everyone else who hadn't left yet when we drove by... He jumped in front of everyone and gave me a wicked big cheesy grin. It was adorable... Haha I smiled really big and waved =] Cameron texted me the whole time they were all at Subway, and then probably till around 11 at night when I said I was tired and he told me to get some sleep. He's such a sweetie...

Today I have a dentist appointment, and tonight the second to last eliminations on So You Think You Can Dance are on TV, but right now I'm waiting for a text from Cameron. He said he was going to text me non stop from now on, because I brought up how we used to text ALLLL THE TIME in the beginning of the year... haha =]

Problem solved!

I i.med Katie P this morning and told her she was right about me missing a lot of tennis and it being very unfair to the team. She even APOLOGIZED for her emotions coming off as anger. I'm glad we solved things, I can't stand being in fights with people and having them mad at me. It sucks and it's just a feeling I am unable to deal with. Haha and I decided I will try out for tennis, and if I make the team and it ends up being too stressful and too hard to keep my grades up between that and the Fall play, I won't even have a choice but to quit tennis. But I realized I will most likely REGRET it if I don't at least try out for the team. I love tennis, it's the only sport I play and am good at.

Right now I'm waiting for my friend Morgan to get here, we're going to the movies to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. I remember going to see the first one with her, we had a blast... We went to the mall before it and got matching t-shirts. Haha today we're being kinda cliche and trying to bring back those memories by attempting to match our outfits once again. How cool are we? Haha and yeah, we'll be going to youth group later! Woohoo! Wednesday's are by far my favorite day of the week :D

I'm texting Cameron at the moment, haha he wants me to sing for him ....

2 Cups of confusion and a pinch of some unknown emotion

I hate arguing, fighting, and anger probably more than anything else in this world. It's pointless, never solves anything, and can sometimes lead to VIOLENCE and who knows what else. But the argument I had last night was all just a bunch of POINTLESS DRAMA that ticked me off. Now, I am not one for arguing and I will do anything and everything I can to stay out of an argument and to keep people happy. I can't stand it when someone is mad at me, especially for NO GOOD REASON. But I also know that I can't control the way people feel, and I can only do my best to try to satisfy them or whatever it is you want to call it.
But last night, I got into a VERY stupid argument with this girl that I used to be pretty close friends with at the beginning of my freshman year in highschool, which was just this past year. We met during the Summer tennis clinic of '07 and instantly clicked as friends. We were good friends for months, until she got this boyfriend. I'm not saying he is the whole reason she changed, and I'm not trying to blame him for anything, but he is a big part of who she is right now... And she is definitely not the same person we all knew and loved before. This girl, her name is Katie P, used to be one of those really likable people that could always bring a smile to someone's face. She used to go to my youth group, and she used to be totally against cussing, smoking... all of that stuff. I even remember one time when Katie P, our friend Ashley, and I were walking around one of the varsity football games last year and Katie was going around and picking up everyone's trash they didn't bother putting in the garbage can and saying DON'T LITTER! And stuff like that. But when she started going out with this boy, he is a big partier, promiscuous kind of kid and druggie... She went all ANTI CHURCH on us and started this whole big shin dig with everyone in my church. She is now a druggie, alcoholic, SMOKER, partier and everything you can think of herself. She also cusses pretty much non stop. We also found out that everything she ever told us about her having this rare illness that is killing her, and her father abusing her was just one big fat LIE. For a while, I used to stick up for this girl and say for her to lie like that, she obviously craves attention for some reason and we need to help her. And I was doing quite well staying neutral in this argument she was having against my church, but last night.. I got pulled right in it and the whole thing just started firing up all over again. Here's the conversation:


KP: and get brainwashed...
me: what?
KP: nothing
me: ok
KP: btw, you missed tennis again. you sure are a reallll team player, good thing its not tennis season or sterling'd have your head. what did curch forbid you from tennis, or something. yellow balls are sin right
me: what? uh no?
KP: ooh. so theres no good reason as to why you never show up, you just what hate rackets, balls, spandex, team and coaches?
me: why the heck are you flipping out on me? what did i do to you?
KP: im not flipping out on you, its just sarcasm. and the pondereing of why you NEVER ever ever come
me: i haven't been coming because i hurt my foot and if it doesn't get better i can't go to maryland next week and before that i was out of town
KP: you think you hurt your foot? doode i crushed mine
me: well i'm sorry. mine is getting better but i'd hate to ruin that and not be able to go to maryland
KP: yea well i squeezed mine in a sneeker and went
me: well i'm proud of you?
KP: oh cos church is more important than everything i take it? i dont wanna be rude, but you're goanna lose alotta friends, if curch and those people come before absolutely everything.
me: omgsh God comes before everything in my life but that's not why i didn't go to tennis tonight and how would i lose friends? just because i love God?
KP: god and church are different.
me: church is for God
KP: no church is to worship him
me: right...
KP: god isnt goanna kill you if you go to tennis once in a while
me: well i know that
KP: then what are you afraid of? the content in which we speak. how we call eachother douche and queafs?
me: uh no. i could care less haha i already told you my reason
KP: ok. well i went. and smashleys gone sick before. it took me like five minutes to get a sneaker on. i mean is your foot even bruised
me: yeah ik and i'm sorry but like i said if i dont get better my parents said i cant go to maryland and i really wanna go and yes
KP: well if you thought you could go to warped n getout bruise free that was retarated thinking. i rode mine over with a bike mk, flipped over my handle bars, im pree bruised in other places too. and somehow i managed to go and my parents wouldnt limit me from other things
me: well i'm sorry you hurt your foot okay. i don't wanna have this conversation. it's pointless
KP: is it because it doesnt revovle around god and the next big thing to do to impress him or have those pansy sanborns over there got into your once street smart brain as well
me: what the heck are you talking about? seriously i have no idea and i don't wanna argue with you especially over something stupid like this
KP: cos, god wouldnt approve
me: i've been trying to stay OUT of this whole thing with your grudge against life church
KP: or because life church wouldnt approve
me: why do you keep trying to pull me in it?
KP: my grudge i dont hold them and i dislike that brainwashing think theyre so high and mighty for other reasons why
me: they don't think that
KP: cos they are gradde a hypocondiracs. they preache all this shit. do you know what mrs sanborn was
me: what?
KP: she was a slut, from what i hear. pregnant early and all that jazz. thats just word on the street from adults that i know. and adults that know them
me: yeah after she was married!
KP: no like shot gun wedding
me: uhm no
KP: and were you there
me: no, were you?
KP: no, but the people i talked to WERE. plus they preach all this shit,. which NONE of them have experienced
me: can you quit dissing my pastor? please? i happen to like her. and i dont know what she ever did to you
KP: her? thats anotherthings, you cant have girl pastors
me: omgsh
KP: its not allowed in the BIBLE
me: i'm not ahving this conversation. seriously
KP: the BIBLE says so
me: can you just stop?
KP: you used to be what, catholic correct? i mean was that just not good enough for you or something
me: KATIE! i'm done having this conversation
KP: didntget enough dancing in there huh?
me: i never wanted to in the first place
KP: well, in that case. your allready brainwashed, and im terribly sorry, that you got sucked into all of that. you'[ll be lucky if you get out. tlk to fai about it. she lived it. shehs been in YOUR place. they thrive on young minds. im not kidding. once you fall out of love with that cameron of theirs. you'll see. that everything they say is mostly false. none of them have lived or experienced it, neither have u or i. plus real pastors go and get a degree not oh look a bible lets say were pastors. they have that huge house cos the money you dontate to it on sundays they use for their enjoyment, not for things that could be of use like how mikeala really wants to help africa. i bet none of their money goes there. and they feel like wodereful people like they do the right thing when they practically harrassed my family. so im sorry you lifee is now like offically wasted, when god and jesus allready liked you. im not going to be persuaded by their sweet talking abilities, and i deff wont dance for jesus. however ill smokefor him im mosh for him and ill play pong for him. he wants to see happy fulfilled lived





And then I signed off, because I just got completely fed up with all her NONSENSE. But now, I am reconsidering even PLAYING tennis this year. For one thing, I can't deal with her. I can't deal with DRAMA in my life. Another thing, I don't want to miss youth groups. And I am also going to be doing theatre this year so I'll have to keep up with the Fall play, tennis, AND my grades. I don't know, I'm so stressed out right now. Because tennis is my FAVORITE sport. It's the only sport I play. And without it, I don't know what I'll do. But with it, I might be just way too completely stressed out. I need help. I need GOD'S HELP to guide me through what it is I am supposed to do right now.

Something amazing

Okay, so a couple weeks ago I got an amazing revalation while talking to my mom one day after church, and I sent this message to Casey:

Okay, so I was on my way home from church this morning, and I was just sitting there in the car talking to my mom, and all of a sudden we came up with the most brilliant idea ever. You know how there’s kind of a slight void between our church and the other churches of the area, especially now that we have decided to bring our youth group to the middle school for a while? And all the other churches seem to be a tad bit afraid that we are trying to steal away kids from their own youth group? Well, since that isn’t our goal at all .. My mom and I came up with the idea of bringing all the churches of the area together in like the high school auditorium or the middle school auditorium or something like that .. And have our own mini Gen Con! But we’ll put it in the center of our little village, so we can reach out to people even better and more than we are now. Not only would we invite all the churches of the area to come join, but we could put an ad in the newspaper or something like that for some publicity to invite anyone else who would like to come that is not part of a church. Each church that we invite could participate in the service and the worship and put in their own little special something, since we all have something slightly different to offer. I know we’re always saying “if those lost kids could get to Gen Con, this would totally change them for the better!” but no one is ever willing to go, because it’s either too expensive or too far or some excuse like that. So like I said, we could make our own mini Gen Con right here but make it for only like a day. With all the kids being on fire for God and working together from a few different churches of this area, I think we could really reach out EVEN MORE to the kids around here. I don’t know, it’s just an idea .. And it definitely wouldn’t happen anytime soon, especially with us just moving our youth group to the middle school to begin with. But I think it’s a good idea, and something I am going to be praying and fasting about before I mention this to anyone else. I just wanted to get your opinion first, so yeah let me know what you think!

And she never gave me a reply, so I kinda put the idea in the back of my mind... Until tonight. Now Casey was the only person other than my mom that I even MENTIONED anything about the whole idea to... and my bestfriend Mikaela (we go to different churches, but she's the one that brought me to really know God to begin with) But tonight she i.med me and said "So when I went to that leadership meeting, they preached on having less time than we think and then talked about how all the churches need to unite and stop acting like competitors, because there isn't separate churches.. There is one church under God." And I started crying right then and there, because I hadn't even mentioned the littlest thing about my idea to her. And it just opened up so many doors and everything for me, because I have been praying about this for a while and if God wants this to happen, for him to give me the "Okay" or the thumbs up or whatever and I would do what I could to pursue it. And well, to me, this was definitely a sign from God that it needs to happen. So I sent Mikaela the message I sent Casey a couple weeks ago, and she started crying herself. She said she's been talking to one of her youth leaders about having a conference in our town. So yeah, after this conversation I have decided to take the next step in pursuing this amazing idea haha and talking to my pastors about it... I don't know when I'll get the chance, but I know God will tell me when to do it!

Someday soon

I should probably start packing, I'm going to Maryland in about 9 days with my church for Youth Fest. I honestly can't wait! I'm getting so excited to see everybody again and hopefully get to experience another amazing encounter with God. Yesterday Debbie (Pastor Jonnie's wife) was handing out sheets to inform us about Youth Fest. On the paper, it said something about having a MODEST bathingsuit because I guess one of the days we are going somewhere to swim or go on water slides or something, I'm not sure. But my bathingsuit is a bikini, and I felt as if it were a bit too revealing when I wore it to one of the youth group pool parties. So today I went to the mall with my mom and my grandma in search of a new bathingsuit to wear next week. Surprisingly, even though the season for bathingsuits being in the stores is coming to an end, I did find something to wear. It's yellow and it IS another bikini, but this time the bottoms are boy shorts and the top even covers a tad more. It was on clearance for $8 and I was desperate, so I ended up getting it. It's actually really cute ... =]

A fabulous day

I brought my grandparent's to church with me today. They absolutely LOVED it! They said if they were younger, they'd switch to my church with me, but since they've been involved in the church they go to now their whole lives, there really isn't much point at this point in their lives. But I'm so glad they liked it! They said they definitely plan on coming back from time to time, and they also plan on trying to talk my parents into checking it out too... I can't wait!

During church today I had a special connection with God. I could actually feel myself growing in my faith, moving closer to God personally, and becoming a stronger person all together. We had a time for prayer today, and Pastor Jonnie wanted told me to go up and pray for people. ME! Out of all people... I mean I'm only 15. I was probably the youngest person in the church today who isn't a little kid. So I must admit I was rather shocked. But I went up and prayed for this kid that just graduated, who at the time I had no idea who I was praying for. But words just kept pouring out of my mouth and I think I did pretty swell. I mean it's not like I've never prayed over anyone before, because at just about every youth group or church service I do. But I've never done it ALONE, for someone I didn't even know until today. It was a new experience, and actually sort of ended up leading me to many others... Because AFTER we were done praying for them, and some people even got SAVED (YEAY!) I asked my youth pastor if I could have some prayer myself. Of course he said sure, then he asked me what I wanted prayer for. I told him I wanted to be stronger in my faith and closer with God. A bunch of people were praying for me, and then when they were done, I smiled and said "Thank you" and all of a sudden Pastor Dan started to prophesy over me. He was like the only person in the whole church talking, and everyone was listening so intently to what he had to say... Especially me. &I don't remember it all, but I know he said something about God speaking to him and saying that I have a GREAT call on my life, and that I am going to do a lot to spread His word. Pastor Dan also said something about me PREACHING... Yeah, ME! I couldn't believe it! I mean I WANT to, of course! But I can't picture it at all! I'm not very good at public speaking... Hahaha but I guess whatever God wants me to do will all work itself out, am I right!? :D


BY THE WAY:
Cameron was already on the stage thing getting ready for worship when I arrived at church this morning, but before he started he mouthed "I love you" to me and I mouthed it back. He gave me a big smile and then all during worship, he kept looking at me ... pretty much the whole time. I notice that a lot, but it really stuck out to me today. Because I've been praying to be SET free of liking him so much, but I notice he STARES at me ... I always thought it was my imagination or something silly like that but why would God let my imagination play such tricks on me if there wasn't a reason? Maybe there's something behind the stares and the smiles... Maybe something more than I think, something more than anyone knows other than God. I just pray that it will all be revealed to me SOON. Haha and then after church ended, I was standing there with my grandparents and talking to all the pastors. Cameron was on the other side of the church with all the youth and a whole bunch of other people, but he kept looking at me and mouthing stuff and things like that. And then when my grandparents and I were about to leave, he completely ditched everyone he was with and RAN across the church to say goodbye, give me a big hug or two, and meet my grandparents. I just thought that was sweet, and now my grandparents won't stop saying what a "nice boy that Cameron is" ... Hahahah =]

Mixed thoughts

I don't know what to post about today. I wanted to write something clever, witty, creative .. but my brain just isn't working.

I guess it's supposed to storm pretty hard all day today which sucks because I wanted to go to the lake with my family or the beach with some friends .. but I guess that won't be happening. Maybe later on Haligh & I can go to the movies or something. That would be fun, and I miss hanging out with her ...

Mysterious tears

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life. I was so bored, with absolutely NOTHING to do, (I never get bored, so it was weird .. Haha) and I spent lots of my day crying. I don't know why I was crying, I decided it was cause my foot hurt or something. Or maybe it was something to do with Cameron, although I think I'm pretty happy about the outcome on that one. I don't know, but my mom kept asking me what was wrong and I had no answer to give her, and she didn't believe me and thought I was just hiding something. I wasn't though, I never hide anything from my parents. They're my confidants over all besides God. Oh well, I'm hoping today is a better day.

HEY! My plans for today changed, I ended up going to this thing at Mikaela's church and hanging out with her, Morgan, Bobby, Trevor, Kelsey, Linsie and Amber .. It was actually pretty fun! Tomorrow I think I'm prolly going to the movies to see Step Brothers with Kelsey, Linsie, Amber, maybe Ryne and who knows who else .. but it should be way fun! :D