2 Cups of confusion and a pinch of some unknown emotion

I hate arguing, fighting, and anger probably more than anything else in this world. It's pointless, never solves anything, and can sometimes lead to VIOLENCE and who knows what else. But the argument I had last night was all just a bunch of POINTLESS DRAMA that ticked me off. Now, I am not one for arguing and I will do anything and everything I can to stay out of an argument and to keep people happy. I can't stand it when someone is mad at me, especially for NO GOOD REASON. But I also know that I can't control the way people feel, and I can only do my best to try to satisfy them or whatever it is you want to call it.
But last night, I got into a VERY stupid argument with this girl that I used to be pretty close friends with at the beginning of my freshman year in highschool, which was just this past year. We met during the Summer tennis clinic of '07 and instantly clicked as friends. We were good friends for months, until she got this boyfriend. I'm not saying he is the whole reason she changed, and I'm not trying to blame him for anything, but he is a big part of who she is right now... And she is definitely not the same person we all knew and loved before. This girl, her name is Katie P, used to be one of those really likable people that could always bring a smile to someone's face. She used to go to my youth group, and she used to be totally against cussing, smoking... all of that stuff. I even remember one time when Katie P, our friend Ashley, and I were walking around one of the varsity football games last year and Katie was going around and picking up everyone's trash they didn't bother putting in the garbage can and saying DON'T LITTER! And stuff like that. But when she started going out with this boy, he is a big partier, promiscuous kind of kid and druggie... She went all ANTI CHURCH on us and started this whole big shin dig with everyone in my church. She is now a druggie, alcoholic, SMOKER, partier and everything you can think of herself. She also cusses pretty much non stop. We also found out that everything she ever told us about her having this rare illness that is killing her, and her father abusing her was just one big fat LIE. For a while, I used to stick up for this girl and say for her to lie like that, she obviously craves attention for some reason and we need to help her. And I was doing quite well staying neutral in this argument she was having against my church, but last night.. I got pulled right in it and the whole thing just started firing up all over again. Here's the conversation:


KP: and get brainwashed...
me: what?
KP: nothing
me: ok
KP: btw, you missed tennis again. you sure are a reallll team player, good thing its not tennis season or sterling'd have your head. what did curch forbid you from tennis, or something. yellow balls are sin right
me: what? uh no?
KP: ooh. so theres no good reason as to why you never show up, you just what hate rackets, balls, spandex, team and coaches?
me: why the heck are you flipping out on me? what did i do to you?
KP: im not flipping out on you, its just sarcasm. and the pondereing of why you NEVER ever ever come
me: i haven't been coming because i hurt my foot and if it doesn't get better i can't go to maryland next week and before that i was out of town
KP: you think you hurt your foot? doode i crushed mine
me: well i'm sorry. mine is getting better but i'd hate to ruin that and not be able to go to maryland
KP: yea well i squeezed mine in a sneeker and went
me: well i'm proud of you?
KP: oh cos church is more important than everything i take it? i dont wanna be rude, but you're goanna lose alotta friends, if curch and those people come before absolutely everything.
me: omgsh God comes before everything in my life but that's not why i didn't go to tennis tonight and how would i lose friends? just because i love God?
KP: god and church are different.
me: church is for God
KP: no church is to worship him
me: right...
KP: god isnt goanna kill you if you go to tennis once in a while
me: well i know that
KP: then what are you afraid of? the content in which we speak. how we call eachother douche and queafs?
me: uh no. i could care less haha i already told you my reason
KP: ok. well i went. and smashleys gone sick before. it took me like five minutes to get a sneaker on. i mean is your foot even bruised
me: yeah ik and i'm sorry but like i said if i dont get better my parents said i cant go to maryland and i really wanna go and yes
KP: well if you thought you could go to warped n getout bruise free that was retarated thinking. i rode mine over with a bike mk, flipped over my handle bars, im pree bruised in other places too. and somehow i managed to go and my parents wouldnt limit me from other things
me: well i'm sorry you hurt your foot okay. i don't wanna have this conversation. it's pointless
KP: is it because it doesnt revovle around god and the next big thing to do to impress him or have those pansy sanborns over there got into your once street smart brain as well
me: what the heck are you talking about? seriously i have no idea and i don't wanna argue with you especially over something stupid like this
KP: cos, god wouldnt approve
me: i've been trying to stay OUT of this whole thing with your grudge against life church
KP: or because life church wouldnt approve
me: why do you keep trying to pull me in it?
KP: my grudge i dont hold them and i dislike that brainwashing think theyre so high and mighty for other reasons why
me: they don't think that
KP: cos they are gradde a hypocondiracs. they preache all this shit. do you know what mrs sanborn was
me: what?
KP: she was a slut, from what i hear. pregnant early and all that jazz. thats just word on the street from adults that i know. and adults that know them
me: yeah after she was married!
KP: no like shot gun wedding
me: uhm no
KP: and were you there
me: no, were you?
KP: no, but the people i talked to WERE. plus they preach all this shit,. which NONE of them have experienced
me: can you quit dissing my pastor? please? i happen to like her. and i dont know what she ever did to you
KP: her? thats anotherthings, you cant have girl pastors
me: omgsh
KP: its not allowed in the BIBLE
me: i'm not ahving this conversation. seriously
KP: the BIBLE says so
me: can you just stop?
KP: you used to be what, catholic correct? i mean was that just not good enough for you or something
me: KATIE! i'm done having this conversation
KP: didntget enough dancing in there huh?
me: i never wanted to in the first place
KP: well, in that case. your allready brainwashed, and im terribly sorry, that you got sucked into all of that. you'[ll be lucky if you get out. tlk to fai about it. she lived it. shehs been in YOUR place. they thrive on young minds. im not kidding. once you fall out of love with that cameron of theirs. you'll see. that everything they say is mostly false. none of them have lived or experienced it, neither have u or i. plus real pastors go and get a degree not oh look a bible lets say were pastors. they have that huge house cos the money you dontate to it on sundays they use for their enjoyment, not for things that could be of use like how mikeala really wants to help africa. i bet none of their money goes there. and they feel like wodereful people like they do the right thing when they practically harrassed my family. so im sorry you lifee is now like offically wasted, when god and jesus allready liked you. im not going to be persuaded by their sweet talking abilities, and i deff wont dance for jesus. however ill smokefor him im mosh for him and ill play pong for him. he wants to see happy fulfilled lived





And then I signed off, because I just got completely fed up with all her NONSENSE. But now, I am reconsidering even PLAYING tennis this year. For one thing, I can't deal with her. I can't deal with DRAMA in my life. Another thing, I don't want to miss youth groups. And I am also going to be doing theatre this year so I'll have to keep up with the Fall play, tennis, AND my grades. I don't know, I'm so stressed out right now. Because tennis is my FAVORITE sport. It's the only sport I play. And without it, I don't know what I'll do. But with it, I might be just way too completely stressed out. I need help. I need GOD'S HELP to guide me through what it is I am supposed to do right now.