I finally told him I liked him.

Yeah, that's right, I did it. Last night was seriously the most eventful (and kinda dramatic) night I have had in a while. Not all of it in a bad way .. like this conversation with Cameron I had, really wasn't all that bad. It all started out because I asked his sister Casey (one of my bestfriends) a question, and she didn't know the answer so she told me to ask Cameron. He gave me an answer, but he was acting kinda strange in the process. I thought to ask what was wrong .. But I didn't and told him I was going to sleep. Pretty much right after that, I started praying to God to set me free from liking this kid, and all of a sudden it was like God was saying "Sara, tell him now .." I started shaking uncontrollably (Like when you have a fever) and I felt like I was going to throw up. I was so nervous, more nervous than I have ever been in my entire life .. But I knew I had to do it. (Even though the last thing I wanted to do was tell him in a text message ..) But yeah, here's the conversation and you guys can tell me what you think ..


me- hey wait can i talk to you about something else or do you want me to wait till tomorrow

cam- you can talk

me- ok uhm this is kinda hard and weird and awkward for me to do haha but uhm for some strange reason i feel like it's the time to tell you. even though i really didn't wanna tell you in a text message. haha but uhm i used to like you.

cam- like when

me- uhm idk a few different times throughout the year haha

cam- so why is it weird to tell me i thought you liked me

me- yeah i figured and just cause it's awkward and i don't want it to make things weird and have us not be friends anymore haha

cam- your so silly thinking that you know you can tell me anything and you know i can tell when girls like me but it's no big deal

me- hahah ok good yeah well i've never told anyone i liked them before so this was a new experience for me and i didn't know what to expect in return. i wanted to do it in person but i didn't think i'd ever get the chance, and tonight after i said bye to you i was praying and i felt like i should just get it over with and tell you tonight hahah

cam- oh thats cool i'm glad that you did i mean i don't want you to think this is a me blowing you off cause i'm not i just want you to be comfortable with talking

me- hahah blowing me off? nah i know you didn't like me like that haha don't worry. and yeah i was always comfortable with talking to you, you're like a very trustworthy person and everything. this was just something i was terrified to do. haha i'm like shaking right now, g's

cam- why silly

me- why what? why am i shaking? cause i'm nervous! hahah

cam- yeah why are you nervous

me- i don't know haha i don't want things to be weird now i guess maybe that's why

cam- well things won't be weird let me ask you why did you like me

me- that's good! and cause well first of all the biggest thing is how on fire for God you are. you're absolutely hilarious, you don't care what people think of you at all, you're creative and unpredictable haha, and you're a good friend. there's more but yeah haha

cam- wow thank you lots your are the same basically your little cutie

me- haha thanks you too :) haha why'd you ask though?

cam- just wondering

me- i see. haha yeah there's more but yeah haha

cam- thank you wow you thought about this didn't you

me- hahaha yeah well what part

cam- all of it

me- oh idk hey just to make things clear, that whole my cousin thinks you're my boyfriend and we're getting married thing .. had nothing to do with the fact that i liked you. she just said it cause she saw a picture of you hahah i swear

cam- yeah i know

me- hahah ok just getting that across haha

(a while later)

cam- yeah you should go to bed cause it's late

me- ha i can't really sleep or i gladly would but i'll let you go now if you want




And then I'm pretty sure he fell asleep, but IDK. Casey and Kelsey are still CONVINCED we're getting married. Which this bugs me, because now I know for a fact that he doesn't like me like that. Although for some strange reason I still have a bit of hope ..!? Why is this!? I don't want to like him anymore, it just causes me pain and stress because I know he doesn't like as anymore than a friend ..